Wouldn’t life be so much easier if people could just “get it!” and understand what is really going on in your head? It feels like you’re playing charades so that the other person will get on board with what you’re trying to say. Maybe they understand what you’re saying, but they just don’t care…
It’s easy to ask ourselves these questions and blow-up the situation in our mind:
1. Do they ever listen?
2. Do they care about what I am trying to say?
3. Am I speaking another language?
4. Am I talking to a wall?
However the situation is bubbling over in your mind, the point is that they might not be the problem. It’s definitely you.
Let’s look at some reasons the other person seems uninterested:
1. You’ve said “I disagree” one second after they were done with their statement. This can shoot them down faster than a man on the front line.
2. Saying their opinion is “rubbish,” “ridiculous” or “stupid.” Making people feel worthless doesn’t earn you respect or friends.
3. Giving off the vibes that you are somewhat better and that your opinion is the “right” solution. Life isn’t about being right. It’s about learning and growing with those around you.
Whatever your reasoning for thinking it was okay to say these things, it obviously didn’t earn you the right to be heard, either. In our efforts to make our point be heard, we crush those around us and flatten their egos and self-worth. The point is not to come out on top or be number one in the office, what matters is learning from each other and building a comfortable environment for everyone to grow.
Next time you find yourself in this conversation, fully hear out the other person first, and then proceed with why you might disagree without saying “I disagree,” or “you’re wrong.” Using those types of phrases can bring someone back to the days where the teacher marked a big red “F” on your paper. Be polite and use a happier color! People always appreciate feeling heard and knowing that they matter.
WorkCompass’s award-winning performance management software is built for progressive organisations. Some of the most successful organizations in the US use it to transform their appraisals from dreaded annual conversations focused on judging the past to ongoing coaching focused on improving performance for the future.
If you would like to learn more about the company and product contact us.